I don't like excuses

The title is very important to understand this poem.
In this poem I released my most "evil" thoughts about a certain person. I hope she never ever reads this. Not that I've got anything to lose... not that there ever was anything to lose... But anyway, I could've been a bit nicer to express my feelings, but I didn't feel like it.
This poem is mainly about how someone crossed my lines but asking my attention and confirmation again and again. And because I was too lame to even know my own restrictions, I let her keep crossing them. I've learned my lesson about trusting people too soon.
She loved me, and needed me, untill I started telling the truth.
Anyways, it's funny how we tend to save our buttocks by telling lies, just to keep someone from being angry with you...

---

I really do like to be shy
or to be admired once a while.
Even though I think you're so kind,
and I wouldn't ever have made up my mind,
you know I wouldn't ever lie
to make you feel better at the time.

I try not to make a sound
but rapidly you turn around.
What kind of idiot do you take me for,
when asking me things you've asked me before.
I talk and talk just to avoid
the point that it's about.
I have to keep myself from saying things
that I'd really like to shout

"Don't you regret that one time?" there you go again.
I'd tell you I've changed my mind, but then
you wouldn't like me anymore,
and God knows, I do like to be adored

"What do you mean?"
"You know, that day we kissed..."
Of course, who would dare to reject
someone who slits her wrists.
So I say, "No," and that "This is the third time you asked."
She stutters and mutters, but it's clear to me
that I saw right through her mask.
(Which shows us that this conveniency
wasn't built to last,
'cause this used to be a funny game,
'till it became my daily task.)

You take adventage of my need to be excused
You think my ego is high, but it's bruised
We both make mistakes, but I'm constantly accused
And I feel like my kindness is being abused

~Aviva Creations

Rosemarie

Dear guests, I have a story to tell... and this time, it's not about me.
This poem is about a beautiful young woman named Rosemarie (with the stress(?) on the o and the ie), but I'll leave her to your imagination. Every man in the country desires her hand, but she turns them all down. People think she's cold-hearted, not capable of loving another. But there's one of her girlfriends who seems to know what's really the matter. She knows deep inside, Rosemarie knows it too, but is too afraid to admit. I'll leave the rest to your own imagination.
Don't take it too seriously, by the way. I meant it to be a tad silly.

---

Rosemarie, Rosemarie
so lovely under the love tree
Enjoy some of the finest tea
it's you and me and the wide open sea
Can't you see, oh Rosemarie
how true our love can be?

For all this time, you've been incomplete
Your cold heart, so softly it beats
With just one kiss, this I guarantee,
I'll set your heart free

Rosemarie, Rosemarie
so lovely in the moonlit scenery
Enjoy the finest tea with me,
sitting by the wide open sea
Do you see, oh Rosemarie
how true our love can be?

They say you're cold, but they're much colder
You're slowly fading as you grow older
Don't take kindly to their words untrue
You'll find love in another point of view
Don't be afraid, just give in
why would true love be a sin?
No matter what they say or do,
I love you, and you know you love me too

Rosemarie, Rosemarie
left me under the love tree
muttering about an insanity plea
It's such a shame she disagrees,
my beautiful lady Rosemarie
Deep inside, she longs for me
Someday, somewhere, somehow she'll see
Rosemarie, oh sweet Rosemarie
...she drank all of my tea.

~Aviva Creations

Resistance

To someone who used to be a friend. I'm sorry that our friendship has died, but I'm even more sorry about the way it happened. And how she promised me to never let go, before she even knew what she was holding on to.
If I say goodbye to her, I'll say got by to a lot of my little insecurities about not being good enough, but I'm afraid I'll also lose my sanity if I lose this girl. Even though I already lost her.
I hope my perfectionism and insecurity will die the same way our friendship did.

---

I dream less and less of your beautiful black hair
and shed less tears for this painful distance
I kept away from your special flair
and you showed no resistance

Oh, how happy you made me
A friendship that was meant to be
A hand to catch all of my tears
and whipe away my fears
Through poetry I showed to you
how special that you were to me
Then you promised me you'd always care
and it all just went downhill from there

I cannot explain it, it hurts too much,
because it's my own fault you fell out of touch
I frightened you off and then pushed you away,
whilst giving signs that I wanted you to stay
Well it breaks my heart, so let's just skip this part
It doesn't matter anyway
Just know that so often I cried for you
did you cry for me, too?

I lied myself down in a sea of silk cotton
I cried a river because you sincerely forgotten
to love me as much as I loved you
when you vowed to me that's what you'd do

Well, I would love to steer my ship without you too

I dream less and less of your dyed black hair
and cry no more for this sobered up distance
I'm pulled in by your special flair
but I'll use all my resistance...

~Aviva Creations